


Put Some Effort into It

by ConfessionForAnotherTime



Series: RvB Bad Porn [2]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Condoms, Deliberate Badfic, F/M, Robot Sex, Semen that looks like motor oil, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-11
Updated: 2015-03-11
Packaged: 2018-03-17 09:15:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3523820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConfessionForAnotherTime/pseuds/ConfessionForAnotherTime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the-meta suggested Sister/Lopez as the next deliberate bad porn fic. I do not know Spanish. I apologize.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Put Some Effort into It

“Hell yeah, ten bucks! That’s our best turnout!” Kaikaina counted her money from tonight’s rave, absolutely delighted that she could pay for the band now. Well, once she sucked their dicks. That’s how that worked right? She told the lead singer of _Freelancer_ that she would see him again next week.

“Maybe next time I’ll be able to pay with you with something other than my mouth!” She headed back into the base, still in awe that one of the two people that was at her rave, aside from the band, was still in the room.

“Hey! Loser! Wake up. Party’s over. You need to get out. Unless, you know.”

“Que? Que su hables? Donde es mio?” Lopez scratched the back of his head, unsure as to why he would be at blue base, even more unsure as to why he would be with a blue.

“You came to my rave. You _obviously_ had a good time last night since you passed out. _Nice._ ” The yellow party girl pumped her fist at her own comment because she figured he wouldn’t high five her. She stared at him the longer he stood there. “So, like, are you going to leave or are we going to fuck?”

Lopez stared at the girl in front of him. _Chikita es loca_.

“I mean, if you’re staying, you might as well gimme yo’ dick. Everyone else does.” She stared at him a moment longer when he doesn’t respond. “What, are you stupid or something.  Are we going to fuck or not?”

Lopez shook his head and started to turn around to walk away.   _Cholita is muy estupida_. He stopped when he felt her tug at his hand.

“Please? Those _Freelancer_ guys sucked and if anything, I have a feeling that you would be better than they would be.” She started to take off her helmet at this point and shook her hair out. “I hope you don’t mind helmet hair or anything shitty like that. Also, I should be wet still. Sucking dicks is so hot. _Nice._ ” If Lopez had eyes, he would have rolled them. Instead he shook his head and stared at the ground. He figured she was kidding. He soon learned she wasn’t once she groped his codpiece, trying to feel around at his “suit” that was really the covering for the robot body.

“¿Qué coño estás haciendo?” He pulled away from her in an attempt to keep her from getting below his armor plating.

“I’m trying to get your dick. Duh. Do you not want to fuck me or something? Is there like a knob or a switch I need flick?” She took her hands off his armor and moved them to her hips. “Everyone wants to fuck me. What makes you the exception? Wait. You don’t think I’m a prostitute do you? I will have you know, that even though I am really good at having sex, I don’t get paid for it. It’s a shame really.”

He cocked his head to the side as he stared at her. He did nothing to stop her when she started stripping off pieces of her armor and dropped them to the floor, going on to babble about how she was the Queen of Blowjobs and she should totally have a crown made of dicks or something.

“Throne of Cocks. That’s the perfect thing for the Queen of Blowjobs.” She put her hands on her hips, posed for him as she peeled off the exterior body suit. He stared as her body was exposed to him, still confused as to what he was really supposed to do with her.

“Te das cuenta de que soy un robot y esto no me hace nada , verdad?” She looked her up and down, still unsure what she wanted him to do.

“Well, if you’re a robot, then you have to have _something_ down there that I can use right? Come on, gimme that robot dick.” She bent back over, her perky breasts bouncing as she searched for something she could fuck herself against.

“Dios mio.” He didn’t try to stop her at all, but he was surprised to find an attachment under his codpiece in a cylinder shape for what looked to be a dick attachment. “¿Por qué es que no?”

“Looks like someone wanted to make sure you got laid!” she says with a laugh. She looked around checking the varied compartments of his armor for some kind of robot cock. She squealed with joy when one of his leg compartments revealed said robot cock.

“¿Por qué es que no? Jesús Cristo.” Lopez was unsure of what to do as she screwed the robot cock onto his robot dick mounting area.

“Woohoo! Robot cock!” She finished screwing it on the appendage.

“Es un control de salida constante, o C.O.C.” He rolled a condom on that he found on the floor of blue base, presumably left over from when she was blowing the members of _Freelancer_.

“Whatever,” she made a noise of disgust, “just stick it in my pussy.” She bent over in front of him, backing up until she felt the tip pressed up against her. She played with the switches at his hip, pleased when his cock started to vibrate.

“Jesús Cristo.” He pushed his robot cock into her pussy. He would have rolled his eyes if he had any, when she moaned exaggeratedly, doing his best to ignore both her real and faked moans of pleasure. “Quiero su mimino delisosa,” he commented boredly. “¿Has terminado ya?”

“No! Keep pistoning that hard robot cock into my tight pussy, you sexy piece of metal!” She continued to moan, and he half-enthusiastically slapped her ass for good measure.

“Ni siquiera puedo decir.” He pulled at her hips, thrusting into her wildly, getting into it despite having little to no desire to fuck this wanton woman. She moaned loudly, her pussy pulsing from the vibration and the thrusting, her orgasm coming in waves on his ribbed robot cock. Lopez also came somehow, hooting his robot cum into the condom, protecting more her than him.

When he pulled his robot cock out of her, he snapped off the condom and held it up to look at it, puzzled.

“Do you cum motor oil or something? You gotta be black then because every other guy I’ve fucked has cummed white stuff out of his dick but yours is black. That’s hot.” She started to pull on her body suit and armor, leaving him to stare at the condom filled with what looked like motor oil and his vibrating robot cock still attached.

“¿Por qué me tengo un archivo adjunto para una polla? El viejo! Explícate.” Lopez tossed the condom aside and stormed off to find the man who built him.

“Holy erect robot dicks! Why on earth are you using that Lopez?” Sarge exclaimed as soon as Lopez made it into the base, robot cock still attached.

“Dios mio.”

 


End file.
